


Supermarket Feud

by MadDramaQueen



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Play Pals, battle buddies, shout out to my twitter friends for these requests
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 06:33:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11731500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadDramaQueen/pseuds/MadDramaQueen
Summary: The Battle Buddies have to go shopping for food.But, what happens when they run into the Play Pals?





	Supermarket Feud

It was an ordinary morning at the supermarket. And I say "was," because it was ordinary until the Battle Buddies showed up. Ryan and Jeremy had to go shopping for some food and Ryan had enough of going to the local burger joint for lunch. "We'll be the Burger Buddies if we keep this up," he would say. So, they finally found time out of their busy schedule to hit the supermarket and get some proper food to eat. But, before they could enter, Jeremy had one important question.

"Can I sit in the cart?"

"What?! Jeremy, no! You're too big!" Ryan facepalmed. They didn't even leave where they parked their car and already the arguing begins.

"Aw, please, Ryan! I love sitting in the cart with all the food!"

"That's because you eat the food as I put it in the cart. And don't think I haven't noticed you sneaking chocolates in there the last time we shopped." Ryan smirked at him. "You can't trick me, Dooley. We're on the same team."

Jeremy groaned. "Ryan, you're no fun."

"But you love me anyway." Ryan kisses him on the cheek and pushes the cart towards the sensor doors. They almost make it in when Lil J gasps.

"RYAN! GIVE ME A QUARTER." He points to one of those stationary rides for kids. It appears to be a monster truck. Huh. No wonder Jeremy was so excited.

Ryan folds his arms and rolls his eyes. "You've gotta be kidding me."

"No! Fuck you, Haywood. I am doing this. You won't let me ride in the cart, so you gotta let me have this one!" Jeremy crawls into the tiny seat of the Monster Truck ride and pouts. Ryan had to admit that the pout was kind of cute.

Ryan reluctantly digs in his pocket and pulls out a quarter. "For you, buddy. For you." He puts the quarter into the slot and the ride starts to slowly buck back and forth. Jeremy whoops and hollers "I AM MONSTER TRUCK, BITCHES!" for the world to hear. Ryan might've gotten a few sneaky pictures for blackmail down the road.

Suddenly, they heard the sound of cackling. And it was a very familiar cackle, that was followed up by some very familiar squeaks and bird noises. 

Ryan turned around to see what he didn't want to see on his day off from work: the Play Pals. Michael and Gavin, the original duo and team in their business, also on their day off. And Gavin was sitting in the cart Michael was pushing around. Of course Gavin could get away with that.

"Well, well, well. Look what we have here, boi. The Battle Buddies acting like the kids they are!" Michael mocked. "What's the matter? Got all your nice, new equipment taken from you and now you're resorting to this? Gee, I wonder who has that fancy new monster truck model for future missions...? Do you know, Gavvy?"

Gavin, who was recording Lil J on the ride the whole time, turned the phone around to face himself and he gave the well-known smug face. "That would be us, Micoo boi."

"Damn right it's us. Because we deserve it. We were there first and then you assholes came and ruined everything! But, you can stay here and enjoy your fantasy world because we'll be out on missions doing the real thing." Michael taunted.

The ride stopped and Lil J flipped them off, sitting on the monster truck kiddie ride as if it were his own.

"Fuck off, Play Pals. I don't wanna argue today." Ryan said.

"Where the hell else are we gonna go to get things for swimmy bevs? Don't be an idiot, Ryan!" Gavin taunted and stuck his tongue out at the taller Battle Buddy.

"You put that tongue back in, or I'll slice it out of ya, Free." Ryan warned.

Gavin squawked and moved back in the shopping cart. Michael just rolled his eyes, not fazed by all this.

"Don't worry about them, Gav. Ryan won't do anything to you. He's gone soft since he got a partner." Michael then turned to Ryan, who looked like he was gonna kill 'em at any moment. "You were the most feared for a while. And then, Rimmy Tom over here-"

"Rimmy TIM, asshole!" Jeremy corrected.

"- he showed up, you two fell in love or however the fuck you guys are a team now, and you've lost your touch. He's softened you. Just admit it."

Ryan growled, took out a knife he's been hiding and sliced part of the machine used to control the monster truck ride. He hit in the right spot, because quarters came pouring out. As Michael went to reach for one, that same knife landed close to his hand.

"Don't you fucking dare say that about Jeremy. He's just as crazy and excited about killing people as I am. You're just jealous you don't have him. You're stuck with Gavin."

"Wot?! Micoo, he's being mean!" Gavin whined, watching Ryan pick up the coins and storing them in his pocket.

"Fuck him. Let's get out of here, Gavvy. Let's leave the Battle Buddies to cry." Michael rolled the cart through the sensor doors and they disappeared into the supermarket. The last thing they see is Gavin with that damn smug face of his again.

"I wanna wipe that smug look right off his face." Lil J grumbled.

"Same, buddy. Same." Ryan helped Jeremy off the ride and Jeremy helped himself to sitting in the cart Ryan was pushing around. "Jeremy! What are you doing??"

"I will not be outdone by Big Nose," Jeremy huffed and started to pout in the cart. "Let's just get our shopping done and get the hell outta here."

"Good idea." Ryan pushed the Jeremy-filled cart into the supermarket, hoping to not run into the Play Pals again.

\----------------

A few minutes of walking around the supermarket, and the Battle Buddies have their cart filled halfway. (not counting the Lil J inside) Ryan walked over to the produce sections and picked up 3 apples to picked in the cart.

"Hey, Ryan. You should juggle those." Jeremy smirked.

"You serious? I haven't juggled in years, Jeremy." Ryan quizzically looked at the apples and possibly tried to juggle them in his mind.

"Aw, come on! I know you can do it."

Ryan sighed lightly and tossed the apples lightly in the air. One by one, he catches them and tosses them around and around, over and over again. After a few seconds of successful juggling, he loses his grip and eventually lets the apples fall into the shopping cart. Jeremy chuckles and gives a round of applause.

"Bravo, Ryan! You should be the entertainment at my next birthday party." Jeremy smirks.

"All right, look. I refuse to wear an orange and purple clown costume. I've already told you this." Ryan points out, tossing some vegetables for a garden salad in the cart.

"Careful, Ryan! You almost hit me on the head with that head of lettuce." Jeremy ducks.

"I'd love to hit Michael with one." Ryan grumbles. 

"Now Ryan, be nice. We can show up the Play Pals at work. I'm trying to forget about those assholes. Let's get some junk food now. With all this healthy stuff, we need to balance it out with some grease."

"I wonder if they have our favorite snack here. Those cheese snacks with that weird shape you made me like so much."

"Cheezy Ties?! Fuck yeah! I want the biggest bag of those for our next Netflix binge watch." Jeremy smiles and points ahead. "Onward to the snacks!" 

They make their way to the snack aisle, avoiding crashing into a display of stacked cans, and Jeremy has the important job of looking for the aforementioned "best snack ever."

Jeremy looks a bit disappointed until he sees it: the last bag of Cheezy Ties on the shelf. "Ryan! Last bag ahead!" He reaches his arm out as Ryan speeds towards the bag. As soon as Jeremy grabs the bag, he sees another hand grab the other side of the family sized bag at the same time. That hand had a familiar golden bracelet on it. Many gold bracelets in fact.

Oh, no. It was Golden Boy Gavin Free. Which meant that Michael was right behind him, pushing the cart.

"You guys again?!" Jeremy growls. "Let go of the bag. It's ours."

Gavin squawks. "Wot?! Wot're you on about? We saw that from a mile away. It's ours! YOU let go, Lil J!" 

"Uh, no. Clearly you don't know how this works. We buy these chips every time we go shopping. You are NOT about to ruin tradition! Let go of the bag, Gavin. Or we'll make you let go." Jeremy threatens.

Michael chuckles when he sees Jeremy in the cart. "Look how jealous you are. Couldn't stand to see how cute Gavvy looks in the cart and you wanted to one-up him. How cute. Too bad it didn't work. He's still cuter." Michael leans in and gives Gavin a quick peck on the lips. Then, he looks back at the Battle Buddies with a glare. "After swimmy bevs, there's nothing like some Cheezy Ties to help us sober up. And since this is the last bag, and since we're fucking better than you, we deserve it." 

Gavin nods and pulls the bag over towards him. Jeremy gives an East Coast "HEY!" and pulls the bag towards himself. It turns into a tug-o-war, until Ryan stops them both.

"Stop it, guys. If you keep this up, the bag is gonna pop, and no one gets to have it. How about we settle this like men?" Ryan says.

"Knife throwing contest in the parking lot? Way ahead of ya." Michael smirks, reaching at his pant leg to grab a hidden placed knife.

"No! As much as I love the idea, we can't do that in public. Let's be a bit more respectful to the place we're battling in. We have a good ol' fashioned cart race. Winner gets the goods." Ryan snatches the bag of chips and puts them on the shelf again.

"All right, fine. Micoo is fast. We've got this." Gavin said with confidence. 

"No, no, no. We go to back of the store and push you two down that long strip towards the deli. First person to crash into the chips and dip display wins." Ryan pushes Jeremy towards the makeshift starting point, Michael following close behind.

"Leave it to the Battle Buddies to make everything a competition." Michael sneered. "And it's always with us, too. They sure love to lose." Michael gives Gavin a high 5. Ryan glares at them and stops at the end of the store, right by the freezer aisles. 

"M-Micoo, it's cold!" Gavin complains.

"Gavin, shut the fuck up and hold on tight. I'm gonna give you a big push." Michael gets ready to push and Gavin braces himself.

"You ready, Lil J?" Ryan asks the Monster Truck.

"Let's do it, Ryan! For the Cheezy Ties!" Jeremy exclaims and also holds on tight. "Target in sight, Ryan. I am ready to attack."

"That's my partner." Ryan smiles proudly.

"Are we gonna fucking race or what?" Michael asks impatiently. "I'm ready to kick your asses!" 

"Fine, whatever." Ryan rolls his eyes. "On your marks..."

"Get set..."

Michael smirks and pushes Gavin ahead of time, the Golden Boy whooping as he rushes past some scared shoppers.

"GO GAVIN GO!" Michael cackles.

"G- FUCK YOU, JONES!" Ryan growls and pushes Jeremy's cart with all his might.

Jeremy quickly catches up to Gavin and they're both neck and neck, zipping past the cereal aisle and the display of dead fish buried in ice with their eyes open as they stare into your soul.

Jeremy bumps Gavin and tries to steer him off course, but Gavin doesn't seem to budge and keeps rolling along. 

There goes the bakery, and the bread display and the grab-n-go meals and more scared shoppers clutching their kids closer to their shopping carts. 

Finally! The deli section appears and the chips and dip display for the next big game is in sight. Jeremy and Gavin give it all they've got, putting their last bit of force into their carts. But, by a literal nose, Gavin crashes into it first by mere seconds, and the bags of chips come flying down the display and into both carts. 

"WHOO-HOO! I won, boi!" Gavin cheered. Michael and Ryan finally caught up to them and panted next to their partner's carts. 

"Yeah! I knew we'd win, Gavin! Play Pals are the true team! Yeah!" Michael gives Gavin a high five and uses both hands to flip the Battle Buddies off. "And just like that, I was proven right. We can always beat you fuckers in any competition. Now, if you'll excuse me, we have to collect our prize. I'm sure you can clean up the mess you've made." Michael cackles and pushes Gavin back to the snacks section.

Jeremy sighs and hangs his head in shame. "I'm sorry, Ryan. They beat us again."

Ryan gave him a couple pats on the back. "Don't worry, Jeremy. You've done your best. All we can do is-"

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" 

Everyone who possibly heard that stopped what they were doing to see where the hell that was coming from.

"That was a 'rage quit' yell. Michael?" Ryan looked confused. He saw an angry New Jerseyian storming towards them.

"Where did you put them, you sore loser?!" Michael pointing an accusing finger at Ryan. "The chips aren't there! You ate them, didn't you? First the donuts at work and now this?!"

"Wait. What? I didn't take shit! I put it back on the shelf so neither of us could get it!" Ryan replied.

"Bullshit you did! You probably hid them, you sneaky fuck!"

"You saw me put them down! Get your glasses fixed!"

"GUYS!" Gavin rushes over with his cart. "I know where the crisps are, and you're not gonna like it." 

"WHERE?!" the other 3 ask in unison.

Gavin sighs and hangs his head while pointing at 2 people leaving the store with the Cheezy Ties bag in their cart. One of the gentlemen had a long beard and glasses on, also sporting a Hawaiian shirt that you see in tourist shops these days. The other had a nice tux as if he were going to a fancy party and was throwing his head back, laughing at something "beard guy" said. It was a contagious laugh that could possibly cure the world's diseases.

Jeremy could only sigh while Michael shook his fist in anger. They knew.

"Team OG..."/"DAMN YOU TEAM OG!!"

It also didn't help that the 4 of them got kicked out of the store and were asked to never come back again, ever.


End file.
